Northwestern Minnesota Synod, ELCA - Compensation Guidelines

Church Funnies

1. Some people are kind, polite and sweet spirited until you try to get into their pews or their favorite church parking spot.
2. The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly and mosquito come close.

3. If your left hand doesn't know what your right one is doing, consider running for a job in Washington D.C.
4. Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.
5. It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
6. When you get to your wits end, you'll find God lives there.
7. People are funny. They want the front of the bus, the middle of the road and the back of the church.
8. Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your door for years.
9. The phrase that is guaranteed to wake up an audience: "And in conclusion."
10. To make a long story short, don't tell it.
11. Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
12. Peace starts with a smile.